May 7th

theresa albert - my friend in food


Having regular vowel movements


We’ve all met them.   They’re folks who seem too uptight, angry, tense.   We look at them and we think to ourselves “They need to up their fibre intake” or “They could use a good roll in the hay”; either way, we know they’re got something pent up and it just makes being around them unpleasant.   Yet, there’s another way to loosen up:  vocalizing.

There are two healthy choices when it comes to using the voice for stress reduction:  A good rant or plain old fashioned singing.   Both involve deep cleansing breaths and use the whole body for expression and both can be done anywhere a private space can be found; the car (windows rolled up!), the home, the office supply closet.   In the case of a rant, if privacy is impossible, one can walk the streets ranting and provided one is wearing a bluetooth headset there should be no repercussions.

As illustrated in the Oscar winning movie “The King’s Speech”, swearing can liberate even the stiffest person so let the expletives fly!   One caveat for people with young children: Toddlers are sponges who will repeat those words at the most inappropriate moments, so a substitution lexicon is advised.   Simply follow the overdubbing used when action movies are shown on prime time TV.  When someone cuts you off in traffic, yell “Aardvark!” and when you hit your thumb with the hammer, try “Muck!”   Next time grandma won’t give your toddler a cookie, the worst she’ll be is confused when he calls her a “Muffler Plucker!”.

Singing is one of the best ways to free yourself of the day’s stresses even if you couldn’t carry a tune if it were in a bucket.   Joining a choir is fun and so is turning up the radio and singing along at the top of your lungs (if you do this in the car, make sure Simon Cowell is not one of your passengers).   Sing to your children unless they start throwing rotted fruit at you.   Sing to your dog and take the howling as a sign he wants to join in.   Sing to the guy with the clipboard who comes to your door during dinner or to the telemarketer who pulled you out of the bathroom.   Nothing (that isn’t immoral, illegal or fattening) can lift your spirits faster than song.  In the words of William James:  “I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.”



Ilana Waldston is the mother of two teenage girls who keeps sane by singing. A graduate of the prestigious International Cabaret Conference at Yale, she’s been delighting Toronto audiences with her comedic patter and well-honed ability to sell a song. She’s a self-professed foodie, loves to bake, travel and dine (often all at once) who sometimes sings of food in songs such as “My Diet Starts Tomorrow”, “Dieter’s Prayer” and “Foodblooz”. In addition to her solo work, she’s also a part of Toronto’s only female jazz quartet, The Satin Dolls...


4 Responses

    February 28, 2011 at 6:26 am Reply

    I do tell my clients all the time to meditate and if they can’t sit still long enough, then sing! You are on to something here!

    March 1, 2011 at 7:59 am Reply

    I love to sing. I blast music and sing along when I’m stressed. If I’m having trying moments with the kids, I usually start singing a fun song for them, and it changes their mood and gets them moving around.

    March 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm Reply

    Ilana, you kill me! You would think I wouldn’t be amazed by you after all the years we have been best friends but….

    Matthew Magain
    April 29, 2011 at 11:10 pm Reply

    Photoshopped Image Killer has been developed for faux photo detection, also known as digital forensics. Indeed, with digital evidence being used more and more in the courtroom, both the prosecution and the defense want to be sure that exhibit A is really what it seems. Anytime you have digital evidence, either side can raise the specter of digital manipulation.

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